LTM - #6 Choose Your Friends Wisely

6. Choose Your Friends Wisely

When I was a kid growing up, my mom gave me all sorts of advice.

Today I can still hear her saying, “Todd, choose your friends carefully.

Don’t get mixed up with the wrong group.” Mom knew children were

easily influenced by their peers and that if I ran with the wrong crowd

they’d have a negative influence on my life.

Mom’s lesson holds true for children, teens, college students, and adults.

It is well documented that our fundamental beliefs and attitudes are

greatly influenced by the people we allow into our lives. If we associate

with people who gossip, we are likely to gossip. If we are around people

who swear and use inappropriate language, we’re likely to exhibit the

same behavior.

After 25 years of research, Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University

concluded that the choice of a negative ―reference group‖ was in itself

enough to condemn a person to failure and underachievement in life.

Your associations are some of the most powerful factors in determining

who you become and what you accomplish in your life. As an example, if

you hang out with pessimistic people who are critical of you, their

negative comments will likely impact how you view your abilities and

your self-image.

Almost 20 years ago I heard Jim Rohn say, “You will become the

combined average of the five people you hang around the most. You will

have their combined attitude, health, and income.”

At first I questioned whether this could be true. Today, I know it is

undeniably accurate. Recognizing this truth, how do we use it to our

advantage? It’s simple. If we want to advance our lives personally and

professionally, we must associate with people who will have a positive

influence on our lives.

Do you play sports? How about board and card games? Do you notice

how you step up your game when you play with better players? When we

associate with others who have a greater skill set or have achieved more,

we are challenged. It brings out the best in us and inspires us to do better.

Observing and modeling someone’s positive example will help us reach

new heights.

We’re not just talking sports and games here. This applies to everything

we do. Surrounding ourselves with optimistic and uplifting people has a

direct effect on our demeanor, confidence level, and performance.

LTM Challenge

Take ten minutes right now to think about the people who you spend time

with on a regular basis-—at home, in the workplace, and in a social

context. Who are they? Which ones radiate a positive influence? Which

ones transmit a negative influence?

 If some of your friends exert a negative influence, begin to slowly

reduce the amount of time you spend in those relationships.

 If your family members say negative and discouraging things to

you, schedule time to have a conversation. Help them understand

how their statements are damaging, and ask them to focus on

encouraging you rather than tearing you down.

 If your workplace is filled with negative people, find a new place

to work. Life is too short to spend it in a negative environment.

Whether you are consciously aware of it or not,

everyone you associate with on a regular basis

is influencing your life.

The question is whether they are a good or bad influence.