How Likable are You?

How Likable are You?

Posted By Todd Smith On January 25, 2010 @ 03:45 In Achievement,Likability |

One of the most important keys to living a happy, healthy and fulfilling life is your ability to build meaningful relationships. While there are many factors that influence the relationships you have with others, being a likable person ranks near the top of the list. Likable people are those who do the little things to connect with people.

The Importance of Being Likable

All the great teachers of personal achievement from Napoleon Hill to Anthony Robbins have talked about the importance of creating a likable personality. Dale Carnegie's famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the best books I have read on the subject.

Generally speaking, people who have a likable personality enjoy greater success both personally and professionally. The logic is simple; people are subconsciously drawn to people who are likable.

Regardless of your career path, you can improve your brand and increase your value to the market by becoming a more likable person.

Evaluate Yourself

So, being honest with yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how likable are you? If your friends and business colleagues or your spouse and children were to rank your likability on a scale of 1-10, what would they say?

Answer these questions honestly to identify the areas where you can improve:

* When speaking with other people, are you genuinely engaged and interested in what they have to say?

* Does your smile communicate an authentic interest in the other person?

* When people are speaking, are you patient? Do you let them finish before responding?

* Will you get in the back seat of the car so your friend can sit in the front seat?

* Do you remember people's names?

* Do you accept responsibility when you are wrong?

* Do you say please when asking people to do something for you, even if they are being paid to do it?

* Do you offer your sincere appreciation to those who have done something to help you, even if it's within their job description?

* Are you friendly in your e-mails?

* Are you complimentary of others when they are deserving of one?

* Do you encourage others when given the opportunity?

* When having dinner at a friend's home, will you pitch in and help do the dishes?

* Do you practice humility?

* Do you listen more than you talk?

* Do you offer a heart-felt apology when you have hurt someone without making excuses?

* Do you make people feel comfortable when they are around you?

* Do you try to maintain a positive attitude at all times?

This is just a short list of the actions we take on a daily basis that will determine whether people view us as likable. The great news is 100% of these things are within your control.

There is Always Room For Improvement

In thinking about this lesson over the past week, I have been extra intentional about doing the little things to be more likable. For example, I have been friendlier to the store clerks where I shop and have been more encouraging and complimentary of my own children. While I have known about the importance of being likable for many years, this past week has been a humbling reminder that there is always room for improvement and I am no exception.

Start By Doing the Easy Things

If you want to create a more likable personality, here is the key: you must be INTENTIONAL about doing the little things that will make you a more likable person. Let me offer you the same challenge I made my 16-year-old son this week.

Jake works at a local grocery store where he normally just focuses on doing his job. Four days ago I challenged Jake to go out of his way to be friendly. The first day he went out of his way to be friendly to two customers. On the second day, ten customers, the third day thirty-four customers and the fourth day fifty-four customers. Get the picture?

As a result of this simple challenge, he is standing taller, walking with a bounce in his step and taking more pride in the person he is becoming. In fact, I can't recall any period of time in his life where I have seen his self-confidence grow more than in this past week. The store manager even noticed and told him what a great job he was doing.

Will you accept my challenge? Will you focus on becoming a more likable person?

What are some of the things that make people likable? Post your ideas in the comment section below.

People have choices. They will always choose to associate with someone who is likable. Are you?

About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd's daily lessons, subscribe here. All Todd's lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd's podcasts are ranked #27 in America's top 100 podcasts and #1 in the personal and development field.)

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

One of the Most Powerful Things you can say

One of The Most Powerful Things You Can Say

Posted By Todd Smith On June 4, 2010 @ 03:45 In Likability |

One of my favorite quotes comes from the extraordinary public speaker, Robert Cavett.  Robert said, "Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition." My heart goes out to those who are starving to be noticed, valued and appreciated.

In yesterday's post I talked about the importance of recognizing and encouraging yourself because you can't expect to be recognized or encouraged by others.  Very few people make the effort to say positive and uplifting things to others but those who do stand out like the light of a freight train in a dark tunnel.

When you encourage others, you lift their spirits, enhance their self-confidence and add fuel to their motivational fire. Perhaps more than anything you give them hope and inspiration. Wow, if simple words of encouragement can do so much to enhance someone's life, why don't we all do more of it? How long could it take? 10 seconds?

The power of a compliment

I went fishing a couple weeks ago with an acquaintance of mine. I really don't know Kevin very well as he is a friend of one of my friends.  Kevin greeted me with a huge smile and said, "The last time I went fishing with you, you said one of the nicest things anyone has every said to me."  A little surprised, I asked him what he meant.  He explained that I paid him a huge compliment when I told him how well he fought and eventually caught that 55-pound Amberjack.

Wow! I didn't remember giving him this accolade but he remembered! Not only did he remember; he remembered it 10 months later.  Who would have thought such a little unintentional statement would make such a lasting impression?

Recognizing and encouraging others

While I have my theories about why most people find it difficult to pay someone a compliment or take the time to give a person some positive reinforcement, the point is they don't. The crazy thing is, it is something we can do in less than 10 seconds, but yet has the potential to make a lasting impression.

How about taking the time to make someone's day? Be intentional about looking for the good in others and telling them what you see. Even the people who you think don't need to hear an encouraging word, need one.  In fact, they may be the people who need to hear it the most.

Do you have a spouse or significant other who needs a few words of encouragement?

Do you have a child who aspires to win a race or be accepted to a certain college?

Perhaps your friend is down in the dumps and a word of encouragement from you is all they need to change their mood.

Remember, what you give, you get in return.  When you begin to look for the good in others, it's only natural they will begin to look for the good in you.

My challenge to you

When you see people working hard to reach a goal, take 10 seconds to encourage them.  If you have seen progress in their pursuit, tell them what you have observed.  Your words of encouragement may be just what they need to keep their dreams alive.

Phrases like "You're doing great job", "keep up the good work" or "you rock!" will go a long way in making a difference in someone's outlook.

Make sure your words communicate your genuine feelings.  While the words themselves are powerful, the feelings behind the words are what will be remembered.

Here is my double challenge to you.  Before going to bed tonight, will you find three people to encourage, recognize or compliment?  Just three!  Will you do it?

If you want to see how your words can impact others, watch the award winning film with more than 3.5 million You Tube views called Validation.  It is the BEST short film I have ever seen.  If you can't watch it now, save this post and return to it when you have 17 minutes.  If you have children, watch it with them.

When you look for the good in others and tell them what you see, you will lift their spirits, enhance their self-image and make a lasting impression.

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

36 Ways to Make a Positive Impression in Less Than 10 Seconds

36 Ways to Make a Positive Impression in Less Than 10 Seconds

Posted By Todd Smith On May 3, 2010 @ 03:45 In Communication |

There are literally hundreds if not thousands of little things we can do to raise the bar in our professional and personal lives. So many of these things are easy to do and can be accomplished in less than 10 seconds. They just require an intentional effort.

What is CRITICAL to understand is that your ultimate success, fulfillment and happiness will come from doing the little things that matter.

As entrepreneur and best selling author Harvey Mackay said, "Little things don't mean a lot. They mean everything."

Here is a short list of 36 things you can do in less than 10 seconds that will make you a better person, enhance your self-image and improve the quality of your life.

1.  Make it a point to say the words "I love you" to the people in your home every single day.
2.  Offer a friendly authentic smile- a great smile radiates warmth, puts people at ease and makes you likable.
3.  Make comfortable eye contact- your eyes send messages; establishing and maintaining eye contact with people demonstrates confidence, respect, and genuine interest.
4.  Use someone's name – everyone likes to hear and see his or her name.
5.  Acknowledge people- smile and say hi to the people around you.
6.  Express your appreciation- say "thank you" to everyone who does something for you even if they are paid to do it.
7.  Be unselfish and put others first- it could be as simple as holding the door open for someone.
8.  Offer a word of encouragement- sometimes this is all a person needs to build confidence and take the next big step. This is big!
9.  Accept responsibility when you are wrong- it's the sign of a person with character.
10.  Be friendly- it lifts the attitude of others and is the #1 factor in being likable.
11.  Maintain a positive mental attitude- your attitude is a choice and that choice is 100% within your control.
12.  Be kind and considerate- to people you know as well as strangers.
13.  Be like a dog and be the first to greet people- it helps new people entering the room feel more comfortable and demonstrates your interest in them.
14.  Offer people you meet a warm greeting- this will set the tone for the entire encounter.
15.  Say please- make it a habit to use the word please EVERY TIME you ask someone to do something for you even if they are paid to do it.
16.  Get up and walk into the other room to speak to someone, rather than yelling.
17.  Put the toilet seat down.
18.  Turn your head and cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
19.  Improve your body posture- poor posture is an indication of low self-esteem.
20.  Say goodbye- make a good last impression.
21.  Offer a proper handshake- a good, firm handshake demonstrates confidence and makes a good impression.
22.  Give someone a hug- a hug is a sign that you really care for the other person.
23.  Proof your email, text or post- this is an important component of portraying a professional online brand.
24.  Click the LIKE button on someone's Facebook post- it's an easy way to demonstrate interest.
25.  Turn off your phone in meetings- even though your phone may not make sounds, your eyes and attention will be diverted from the other people in attendance and your lack of attention demonstrates disrespect.
26.  Repeat your phone number twice when leaving a voicemail- speaking slowly and repeating your phone number will make you stand out.
27.  When scheduling appointments use the other person's time zone- this avoids misunderstandings or missed opportunities.
28.  Speak with life and energy in your voice- no one likes to be around people who are "dead, dull and lifeless."
29.  Walk with a bounce in your step- it's evidence of an energetic attitude that ultimately leads to success.
30.  Turn off the notifications that are bugging those around you.
31.  Write things down- it prevents you from forgetting things that are important.
32.  Say something positive to others about another person- reverse gossip.
33.  Congratulate your opponent- good sportsmanship is evidence of leadership.
34.  Introduce yourself- be proactive and introduce yourself to people whom you have never met.
35.  Look for the good in others and tell them what you see- you have the ability to bring out the best in people, especially when they may not know it themselves.
36.  Hold in that fart- the pain will go away in less than 10 seconds.

As you can see, each of these tips is easy to do. They don't require any formal education or financial investment. We can begin to incorporate them into our lives this very minute. All we need is to be conscious of them and be willing to take 10 seconds to do them.

Let me encourage you to print out this list and put an asterisk beside the ones you are committed to working on. Track your results and see how you do.

This is just a small sampling of the things we can do in less than 10 seconds to make a positive impression on others. What are some other simple things we can do in less than 10 seconds? I look forward to reading them in the comments section below this post.

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº