7 Things I Wish I Had Known in High School

Dave Burchett, Contributing Writer

1. I wish I had known that my high school years did not define me at all

My teen years were a mixed bag of memorable highs and incredible lows. Now I realize that what I once considered some of the worst moments of my life I am grateful for experiencing. In many of those spiritual valleys you could not have begun to convince me that God was molding me or that those experiences could ever be of value. I knew the scripture just as you likely do…that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. I now realize that mere knowledge of that promise is not enough. It comes down to our foundational belief of who God is. Do we believe His Word? I mean really believe His Word? That He will actually cause even the worst event to somehow work for ours or someone else's good? That requires faith in a God that is trustworthy.

Do we know His attributes? Do we believe (really believe) His promises? If we do, then we must accept the troubles and "we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good". Romans 8:28 (MsgB) 

I have developed a heart of compassion for those who are wounded. Why? God gave me the privilege of being wounded early in my life. That sounds crazy as I read back over that last sentence. It is not a sentence that I would have written twenty or perhaps even ten years ago. But I can see that my struggles as an overweight, geeky and generally outcast adolescent molded my heart to empathize with those who are hurt and ostracized by their peers.

Had I been the coolest guy or the best athlete or the most handsome I most likely would not have developed a sensitive spirit to others. So God gave me the opportunity on all of those fronts to develop sensitivity.  I did not enjoy that period of my life. I would have given anything at that time to be one of the really popular kids. I would have told you that I would gladly trade nearly anything on the spot to be the starting quarterback or the big man on campus. I was desperate to be part of the cool group. With the benefit of hindsight I can promise you that I am grateful for every refining difficulty and problem.  Such a dramatic change in attitude is a matter of time, growth in my relationship with Jesus and my trust in the truth of His promises. As G.K.Chesterton wryly noted, "Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel." Had I been freed the burden of my "hump" (that tough teenage passage), I would not be who I am today.

So I hope your experience right now is better than mine. But if it is not or if it changes in the future, always remember that God is in control, He loves you even more than your wonderful earthly father, and He will work it for good even if you cannot see it at the time.

2. I wish I had known that I needed to decide in advance what I would do in tough situations

Most of my mistakes as a teen were made in moments of peer pressure that I was not prepared to address. Joni and I tried to teach our sons that you decide in advance what your response will be to temptation. Decide in advance that you will call for a ride when asked to get in the car with a drinking driver. Decide in advance to not get yourself into a situation where sexual temptation will be an issue. Decide in advance that you will be kind to the less popular no matter how the "cool" kids view that action. Decide in advance to trust God as you make decisions that you fear might lessen your popularity or status. In the moment you tend to make wrong decisions so make them in advance and then stand firm.

3. I wish I had known that every person is created in God's image…and He loves them just as much as He loves me

Sparky Anderson, a former Cincinnati Reds manager, once said that "you can never go wrong being classy." And you can never go wrong being kind to everyone. Sometimes you will be tempted to ridicule or tease those who are less attractive, intelligent, gifted, or cool. Don't do it. If you can accept the advice of a guy who has been to a 25th High School reunion I can tell you this. Some of those "losers" are the "winners" now. They have wonderful families and lives. Some of the kids I was desperate to be like are still living off of moldy high school memories. High school is the start of a very long journey. Some people seem to be leading the life race coming out of high school. The real winners know that life is a marathon and that God has a plan for that long race. Be kind to everyone. Jesus loves them. And so should you.

4. I wish I had known that nothing outside of who I am in Christ can make me cool

There is nothing wrong with desiring to wear clothes and shoes that are fashionable. There is nothing wrong with being in activities that are popular. But it is wrong to think that those clothes or shoes or activities make you better than others. I really wish I had known that going along with the group and doing wrong things did not make me cool. I wish I had realized in high school that people look at those things but God looks on the heart. It is your heart that makes you who you are, not your outfit or activities or "rebellious" moments.

5. I wish I had known in high school that I needed to take responsibility for my own actions

Learn now to say these three sentences.

            I was wrong.
            I am sorry.
            Forgive me.

And keep your "but" out of those statements. Don't say "I was wrong 'but' I didn't think it would hurt you" or "I am sorry 'but' I was having a bad day."  Those are not real apologies. Take responsibility. Live with integrity. That will make you unique in this culture!

6.  I wish I had known in high school that the 2nd most important decision I would make is who my friends were

Your friends have an influence on who you are and who you become. Pick them carefully. Young Christians often think they can influence their friends for Christ if they keep hanging out with them. Be careful that you don't lose the balance of fellowship and encouragement of Christian friends. Prayerfully seek a balance between the two. But understand that friends are a critical factor in your life and they will influence who you are…good or bad.

7. The most important decision I will ever make is who or what I worship

I did figure this one out to some extent in high school. Everyone one worships something or someone. It can be money or power or fame or popularity. I believe we are created to worship God. We have a yearning from our birth to find our purpose and significance. But if you don't find that relationship in Christ you will tend to fill it with wrong things. Often those things are not inherently bad. But they can become bad things when they become the focus instead of Jesus. We used to sing a camp song with these lyrics..

Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things shall be added unto you

There is nothing wrong with these "things" when you seek the kingdom of God first. One of my favorite passages is in the book of Colossians. Paul outlines what it looks like to be a real Christian. Living these five little verses will change your life.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.  And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.  Colossians 3:12–17

I am praying for you as you begin your exciting new journey with Jesus.

 Dave Burchett is an Emmy Award winning television sports director, author, and Christian speaker. He is the author of When Bad Christians Happen to Good People and Bring'em Back Alive: A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church. You can reply by linking through daveburchett.com

Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/7-things-i-wish-i-had-known-in-high-school-11532583.html

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

Help Your Teenage Son Become a Good Man

Help Your Teenage Son Become a Good Man

Whitney Hopler, Crosswalk.com Contributor, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

If you're the mother of a teenage son, you may think that he needs you less now than he did when he was younger. But the teen years are a crucial time for you to influence your son. As your son moves from boyhood to manhood, he'll experience many challenges that can be tough to navigate, and he'll look to you to help him figure out how to become the man that God wants him to become.

Here's how you can use your powerful influence as a mom to help your teenage son become a good man:

Help your son deal with changes in his body and mind. During the teen years, your son's body and mind will undergo many changes that God designed to propel him from a boy to a man. Your son's levels of the hormone testosterone will fluctuate as he goes through physical changes such as growing taller and deepening his voice, and mental changes like processing information differently in his brain than he did before. If his peers view him as somehow not being masculine enough, he may suffer ridicule from them that can wound him deeply. You can help your son deal with emotional wounds by giving him the opportunities and encouragement he needs to succeed doing something he values. Your son may also struggle with emotional confusion as a teen, so help your son understand what emotions he's feeling in various situations, and help him process those emotions by using object lessons or examples from your own life or other people's lives. Teach your son how to control his emotions by thinking critically about them, so he'll learn how to prevent unhealthy outbursts of anger or anxiety.

Communicate effectively with your son. Keep in mind that males usually aren't as adept as females at communicating verbally. When you're trying to get a message across to your teenage son, keep it as simple as possible, since he may lose focus if you give him too much information at once. Focus on communicating just one topic at a time. Speak directly and plainly. Your son may pay more attention to you if you talk with him while the two of you or doing some kind of physical activity together, such as taking a walk or working on household chores. Be specific when communicating expectations to your son. When you want your son to change a behavior, focus on his strengths rather than his weaknesses and try to encourage him instead of criticizing him.

Model the kind of lifestyle you want your son to develop. Keep in mind that your son is likely to follow the example that you set for him. So show your son what it looks like to live faithfully. If you're promiscuous, tell lies, gossip about others, smoke, drink, waste time, waste money, or engage in other unhealthy habits, your son will probably adopt those same habits. But if you model spiritual disciplines such as regular prayer and Bible reading, worship God and serve others regularly, live with integrity and love, and abstain from destructive behaviors, you'll likely inspire your son to do the same.

Give your son opportunities to make more decisions. Let your son gradually make more of his own decisions and experience the consequences of his mistakes rather than making decisions for him or swooping into tough situations to try to rescue him. Whenever possible, include your son in the process of making decisions for your family.

Expect the best of your son. Low expectations are demoralizing to teenage boys, so set high expectations for your son and give him the encouragement and support he needs to meet those expectations. Praise him for his successes and encourage him to keep trying after failing.

Connect with your son emotionally. Build emotional closeness between you and your son by spending time together regularly doing activities that he enjoys, and eating together, since teenage boys enjoy food. Pray with and for your son often.

Give your son positive role models. If your son's father is around and spiritually healthy, urge him to be active in your son's life, helping him grow closer to Christ. If your son doesn't have a healthy father around, find Christian men you trust and admire to build lasting friendships with your son.

Help your son recognize and avoid dangers. Dangers such as pornography, violent video games, alcohol and other drugs, gangs, and unhealthy peer friendships can all send your teenage son down a destructive path. Talk with your son often about how to avoid destructive dangers, and why doing so is important.

Help your son develop a healthy sexuality. Urge your son to set up boundaries and accountability structures that will help him abstain from sex until he marries. Teach him how to treat women with respect and care.

Teach your son key character traits. Emphasize resiliency, perseverance, integrity, respect, honor, compassion, and self-discipline as you teach your teenage son values. Give him the opportunities he needs to practice those virtues as often as possible before he leaves home.

Train your son to become a leader. Encourage your son to discover and fulfill God's purposes for his life. Teach your son the critical thinking skills he needs to make wise decisions. Involve your son in activities that can help him grow into a stronger leader, such as team sports, scouting, or student government. Emphasize leadership skills such as a strong work ethic, respect for authority, accountability, and team work.

March 7, 1011

Adapted from That's My Teenage Son: How Moms Can Influence Their Boys to Become Good Men, copyright 2011 by Rick Johnson. Published by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Mich., www.revellbooks.com. 

Rick Johnson is a bestselling author of That's My Son; Better Dads, Stronger Sons; and Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half. He is the founder of Better Dads and is a sought-after speaker at many large parenting and marriage conferences across the United States and Canada. Rick, his wife, Suzanne, and their children live in Oregon. To find out more about Rick Johnson, visit www.betterdads.net.

Whitney Hopler is a full-time freelance writer and editor.  You can visit her website at: http://whitneyhopler.naiwe.com/.

Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/teens/help-your-teenage-son-become-a-good-man.html

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

Combat Sexual Pressure by Changing the Script

Combat Sexual Pressure by Changing the Script

Rebecca Hagelin, Author

Parents got some good news last week: A new report from the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) reveals that more teens and young adults are choosing virginity over casual sex.

"Among youngstersbetween the ages of 15 and 24, 27 percent of males and 29 percent of females said they had never experienced any sort of sexual contact." The report draws from 2008 data, the latest available.  By comparison, in 2002, 22 percent of males and females chose virginity.

Parents who want to help their children embrace sexual purity need a clear understanding of the sexual pressures in today's culture.

A new book, Premarital Sex in America, by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, provides that and more. It offers compelling research on the influences and decisions that lead to premarital sex—or virginity—among older adolescents and young adults.

So what do parents need to know?

First, that "sexual scripts" within a person's social community strongly influence his or her expectations about sex.

What are "sexual scripts"? They are the unwritten "rules" of a social community, the norms about "what… to do next" or how, when, and why to have sex. Peers, friends, and the media pass these scripts along, often implicitly, teaching through the power of stories, images, and anecdotes. The popular scripts shape adolescents' perceptions of what's "normal," while competing "scripts," proposed by parents and religious beliefs, may fade from the adolescent's day-to-day life and become lost.

Second, that the sexual scripts proposed by our permissive culture and the media rest on lies--lies about relationships, the meaning of sex, and the path towards happiness.

For example, young people consistently believe that more of their peers are having more sex than they really are. In reality, the hook-up culture is not the every-weekend-norm for most students, according to Regnerus' data. On college campuses, for example, 36% of young people have never hooked up with anyone even once.

Those who have hooked up have done so an average of four times total by the end of college. And roughly 75% of those who have hooked up experience regret. Moreover, hook-ups proliferate in two specific scenarios: among young people who are not college-educated, and among those who attend private, elite schools where fraternities (and in many case, alcohol) dominate social life.

Regnerus and Uecker conclude with a research-based list of ten myths about sex, exposing the insidious harm of our culture's prevailing mantra. It should be required reading for both parents and older adolescents.

How to Save Your Family: Share a "Sexual Script" Based on Truth

The new research in Premarital Sex in America demonstrates that young adults do in fact reflect the sexual scripts of their communities. "Other people's sexual choices matter.  Collectively they function as a powerful constraint on our own behavior." Our children will do best when they find a flourishing community of like-minded people who will commit to a common sexual ethic that follows God's script rather than Sex and the City's.

Young people motivated to live in sexual purity (and to enjoy the freedom that brings) need to surround themselves with others equally committed to the same ideals.  Church youth groups, fellowship opportunities, and accountability teams may provide friendship and support. Our young people need to know they are not alone in their choice to live sexually pure lives.

Let your daughters know that research shows that women are, in fact, the sexual gatekeepers in relationships—that means they must stand firm, embracing sexual purity. The guys who are worth it will wait for sex and the guys who are not will leave—good riddance.

Whatever it takes, do your part to help the young people in your life sort through and find the messages worthy of who they were created to be.

March 16, 2011

Rebecca outlines her vision for parenting in 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family.

(c) 2010 Rebecca Hagelin  www.howtosaveyourfamily.com.

Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/teens/combat-sexual-pressure-by-changing-the-script.html

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

20 Things You Can Say “No” To

20 Things You Can Say "No" To

Theresa Ceniccola, The Christian Mompreneur

I'm sure this isn't news to you, but sometimes we moms have a difficult time saying no. You would think that with all that practice during the Terrible Two's, we would have that word down pat. "No" is arguably the most powerful word in the dictionary. But we can't seem to utter it when we need it most.  

My take—the biggest reason for this is guilt. We put such high expectations on ourselves to be everything for our families and others, and we don't want to let anyone down. We're people pleasers by nature. So we say "yes" every time we're asked to bake cupcakes or go on a field trip or teach Sunday school at the last minute. We also say "yes" when someone asks us to give away our products and services for free.

You know the routine. You reluctantly agree to coordinate the talent show at the elementary school. And because you are an amazing woman, you put on the most organized and entertaining show ever. Then what happens? You are nominated to do it again the following year. And the year after that. And the year after that. This would not be a problem if you actually enjoyed it. But over time, your enthusiasm for the project diminishes and you're left feeling obligated and resentful.

We bring this kind of torture on ourselves, you know. Nobody can force us to say "yes" in the first place. By saying yes and doing a great job, we establish a reputation as dependable and hard working. And this has the unwelcome side effect of attracting more "opportunities" to shine in the same way.

When we take on too many things, we don't leave any space for ourselves. We don't have any time to fulfill our life purpose. We don't leave room to grow, to breathe and simply… to be. Imagine how it would feel to eliminate that one thing that is zapping all your personal energy right now! To freely and completely do what God is calling you to do without getting distracted by everyone else's requests and expectations.

So, in the spirit of creating space in your life for growth and happiness, I hereby give you permission to say "no" to anything that no longer serves you and your family. Anything that is not truly in alignment with your values and goals. And the best part is that you can say "no" without guilt, because the Christian Mompreneurs are behind you, sister!

This means you are free to say "No" to:

1. Volunteer work that doesn't clearly support your values and goals;

2. Email forwards that annoy you or distract you;

3. Social invitations that are not in alignment with your values -- or that distract you from achieving goals that are in alignment with your values;

4. Clients or customers who don't leave you feeling great about who you are and how you serve the world;

5. Toxic relationships including friends and family who are negative, emotionally draining or abusive;

6. Conversations that leave you feeling badly about yourself;

7. The idea that someone else is better at what you do;

8. Any community service project that you don't embrace with a happy heart;

9. Pro bono work or bartering that does not fill your emotional piggy bank;

10. The attachment to other people's opinions of your choices;

11. Annoying Facebook posts or games;

12. Answering your cell phone;

13. Returning phone calls and emails immediately;

14. Birthday parties, after school activities, sports or events that you deem unnecessary or are simply too much to handle logistically;

15 Sending birthday cards to everyone you've ever met;

16. Contributing to every charity that you've ever been asked to support;

17. Watching TV;

18. Reading an entire book when you've already decided you don't like it on Chapter 3;

19. Anything that makes you roll your eyes or get that anxious pit in your stomach;

20. The misguided belief that you have to say "yes" to everyone—all the time.

So what are you going to say no to this week? Let me know so I can cheer you on!

Theresa Ceniccola is The Christian Mompreneur—a Mentor to Moms Who are Running a Business that Supports Faith and Family. She empowers entrepreneurial moms to build profitable businesses with wisdom and grace through the Christian Mompreneur Mastermind program and her professional Marketing services, which include copywriting, marketing and strategy consulting and private coaching.

 Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/career/20-things-you-can-say-no-to.html

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

Career Planning: Essential Life Skill for the 21st Century

Career Planning: Essential Life Skill for the 21st Century

Kevin & Kay Marie Brennfleck, National Certified Career Counselors and Life Calling CoachesSM

Most people spend more time planning their vacations than their careers and lives. How about you? How much time and energy have you invested in figuring out what type of work best uses your skills and interests? Which careers that fit you have growth potential in this economy? Which career path would give you a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose? And, most importantly, what God has put you on earth to accomplish?

The world of work has changed dramatically in the last decade, and the changes have accelerated since 2008. Career planning used to be a matter of getting an education, finding a job in a good company, showing up for work each day, and eventually retiring to a nice pension. For most people, those days are gone forever.

Why Periodic Career Planning is Necessary

The job market of the 21^st century offers more options and flexibility than that of the 20^th century, but its volatility also requires that you become more resourceful, adaptable and pro-active. Today's status quo can quickly become obsolete. Learning how to do good career planning, therefore, is now an essential life skill for those who want to be engaged in their work, earn a good salary, and finish their lives with a sense of satisfaction, and not regret.

Career planning is something you should do on a regular basis. The work world continues to change at a fast pace, and God is at work making changes within you. Take time at least once a year to do an "annual review."  During that time, take a look at where you have been heading and what you have accomplished, re-assess your skills, interests, values, passions, etc. to see how they might be better utilized in your work and life, invest time in reflecting on and praying about what God would have you do with the next "chapter" of your life, and evaluate if you need to make any changes in the direction you have been heading.

Issues Career Planning Can Help You Resolve

There are times in life when doing career planning on your own is sufficient. There are other times, however, when working with a professional career counselor/coach will be the best investment you ever make. Good career planning can help you if you:

• Are successful in your work, but feel like your work lacks purpose and meaning;
• Sense God is calling you in a different direction, but don't know how to clarify His leading;
• Feel like the "real you" doesn't get to come out at work, and long for work that fits you well;
• Think there are probably many more career options than those of which you are aware, but don't know how to find the one that fits you best.

All of these issues can be addressed and resolved through quality career testing and systematic, comprehensive career planning. You don't have to feel lost, distressed, bored, underemployed, frustrated, or hopeless. The starting place is determining that you are ready and willing to take steps to change your life!

Tips for Successful Career Planning

1. Chart your career path up to the present. List the jobs you have held, and take some time to reflect on each of them. Ask yourself questions such as: How did I get into that job? How long did I stay in it? Why? What did I like about it? What did I dislike?

Do you see any patterns in your choices and evaluations? How do you feel about your career path to date? Are there any things that you would have done differently? These observations can help you to appreciate good decisions you have made as well as help you make better choices in the future.

2. Reflect on what motivates you now. As human beings, we grow and develop. As Christians, God is at work in our lives, as well, maturing us into the image of His Son, Jesus. Bottom line, while many things about how God has designed us stay the same, we continue to change in various ways throughout our lives. For example, many people in midlife feel called to do something that "makes a difference," no longer content just to make a living. For some, there may be particular issues or needs they feel drawn to address. For others, they know they want to do something more meaningful, but a central part of their career planning work is figuring out how God wants to use them in the second half of their lives.  

Professional career testing can be a great way to expedite the process of identifying the key "puzzle pieces" of your design, the central themes in who God has created you to be (instead of just knowing random pieces of information about your design), and the needs that you are motivated to meet.

 

3. Identify the transferable skills you enjoy using. Think about your career history in terms of the transferable skills you have developed instead of the job titles you have held. Looking at yourself solely in terms of job titles restricts your thinking about other career options. You are not limited to similar job titles or career fields! When you look, instead, at your individual transferable skills (such as "plan," "teach," "calculate," "persuade") and the skill clusters that you most enjoy, you can more readily research and recognize other career paths that could be a good fit.  

 

4. Look at current career and job trends. In a rapidly changing job market, having up to date information about labor market trends is very important. Seeing where job growth is expected in fields that interest you can help you make better career decisions. Resources such as the Occupational Outlook Handbook and the O*NET database are useful once you have a thorough understanding of your God-given design. (Otherwise, they can be overwhelming to use.)

5. Set goals for your career and develop a "do-able" action plan to achieve them. Without a plan, things seldom change for the better. Without working your plan, things seldom change for the better. It's been said that insanity is doing the same things over and over, while expecting a different result. So what are your career goals? Here are some possible ones to think about:

• Determine how I can grow in my current job, or find a better-fitting job in my current company.
• Figure out what type of work fits me best.
• Identify career options in my current field that have the best growth potential.
• Learn and use more successful job search strategies for finding a new position.
• Discern what God is calling me to do with my life.

Originally posted March 31, 2010.

Kevin Brennfleck and Kay Marie Brennfleck, National Certified Career Counselors, are the authors of Live Your Calling: A Practical Guide to Finding and Fulfilling Your Mission in Life. Their websites, www.ChristianCareerCenter.com, www.ChurchJobsOnline.com, and www.ChristianJobFair.com, feature hundreds of job listings from churches, ministries, and Christian employers; a resume bank; and many other career/job search resources and articles. They also offer career coaching and testing to help you discover work that fits your God-given design, as well as assistance with writing a powerful resume, interviewing effectively, finding job openings, and other aspects of a successful job search. If you are not sure how best to proceed with your career planning, consider taking advantage of our professional career coaching and career testing services. You can schedule a free consultation session today!

Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/career/career-planning-essential-life-skill-for-the-21st-century-11628324.html

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

Find Your God-Given Gift

Find Your God-Given Gift

Steve Diggs, Personal Finance and Life-Skills Coach

Let me paint you a picture of a child who has gone to a party and feels left out because he notices that all the other children are playing with gifts from the host. Then, at the end of the day when his mother picks him up for the drive home, he breaks down and cries. "Mom, everyone else got a gift—except for me! Why didn't they give me a gift?"

Imagine his disappointment when his stunned mother looked in the rearview mirror and asked, "Didn't you go to the gift table and pick up the gift they had prepared for you?"

Life is too short not to find your gift. Yet that's how many of us live our entire lives. We never go to God's gift table to find what he has prepared for us. This is something that I speak about in the ReTooled & ReFueled: The Essential Christian Life-Skills Seminar. So let me share a few thoughts that may help you find and enjoy the gift God has waiting for you.

1. Be available to God's gentle promptings. Sometimes the key is simply to, "be still, and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10a, NIV). I believe that God has given every one of us a natural bent. He has blessed each of us with abilities or inclinations that will lead our life paths to joyful conclusions if we will simply accept what God has waiting for us and accept them on his terms.

2. Understand the nature of God's gifts. While I'm not convinced that it is an exhaustive list, Paul gives us a glimpse into the heart of God as he names seven different "gifts of the Spirit" in Romans 12 (you can check them out for yourself, but briefly they include the gifts of prophesy, serving others, teaching, encouraging, giving, leading, and showing mercy). God gives gifts so we can "re-gift" them. His idea is for us is to share and bless others with — to pay it forward. Not to strain a metaphor, but I realize that this may seem like telling the same kid in the illustration above that he can go back to the party and retrieve his gift — but then he must share it with the other kids. Although it may sound counterintuitive, God's plan really does work best. He gives gifts (at least in part) so we can have the joy of blessing others. The happiest people I know are the ones who give the most.

3. Avoid cramming square pegs into round holes. Many of us spend our entire lives trying to be something that God never wired us to be. In my high school and college days I was determined to get into show business. I reasoned (or rationalized) that I could do all kinds of great things for God if he would only allow me to become a famous star. By brute force and dogged determination, I eventually managed to sign a record deal with a major label and did several stage and television shows. But it never really fit me.

Why? Mainly because I had no real talent. I couldn't sing (my voice has been known to kill small animals!) But for a long time, I resisted God's nudging. So I wasted valuable time trying to convince God to do it my way. Thankfully, he loved me too much to allow that. I have long suspected that, had I succeeded in show business, I would have long ago left Jesus.

4. Avoid jealousy. Don't look at another Christian and say, "I wish I could sing or lead or communicate like he does." God's gift for you will be as unique as your finger prints — he knows what will fit you the best. He knows exactly how much to give you and when to hold back — to protect you from yourself. This is where trust comes into play.

5. Look for the "sweet spot." One way of knowing when you are ensconced in God's perfect plan for your life is that there will be a sense of peace and purpose. Paul called it, "the peace that passes understanding." It's like that perfect golf swing (of which I've had very few). You know the instant your club makes contact that all is well as the ball flies freely and effortlessly exactly where you intended. When I start to see God's big picture for my life, things change for the better — forever. There is a blessing when we "wait for the Lord" because we "will gain new strength" and "mount up with wings like eagles . . . run and not get tired . . . walk and not become weary."

Steve Diggs has presented the No Debt No Sweat! Money Management and ReTooled & ReFueled Essential Life-Skills Seminars over 500 times at churches, colleges, conferences, employee groups, and other venues nationwide. Visit Steve at www.NDNS.org, www.RetooledAndRefueled.com or www.SteveDiggs.com or call 615-834-3063.  The author of seven books, Steve has been a TV commentator, syndicated columnist, minister, and, today, is a fulltime speaker.  For 25 years he was President of the Franklin Group, Inc. Steve and Bonnie have four grown children whom they have home schooled.  The family lives in Brentwood, Tennessee.

No Debt No Sweat! Christian Money Management Seminar teaches God's people how to use God's money God's way. More at www.NoDebtNoSweat.com.

 

ReTooled & ReFueled: The Essential Christian Life-Skills Seminar shows Christians how to live for the beautiful bye and bye—while dealing with the nasty now and now.  More atwww.RetooledAndRefueled.com.  

 

 

Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/career/find-your-god-given-gift.html

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº  

 

The Danger of Too Much Preparation

The Danger of Too Much Preparation

Dan Miller, 48Days.com

Most of us make fun of the idea that ignorance is bliss and pride ourselves in not being one of the ignorant.

However, I see a reverse phenomenon that is also quite interesting.  The paradox of knowledge is this:  the more we know, the more we realize what we don't know.  Thus, a person who begins studying butterflies discovers the thousands of species that exist.  A person who wants to buy a car can get lost in consumer reports, safety studies, and resale potential.   I see students continuing the pursuit of more and more degrees, "getting ready" for that first job.  I see people looking for a job who spend six months researching companies and job search strategies.  I encounter the frustrated employee who wants his/her own business and spends ten years carefully planning every possible outcome.

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."  Benjamin Disraeli

One of Zig Ziglar's famous stories is of a childhood neighbor lady who pulled some biscuits out of the oven that were no thicker than silver dollars.  When little Zig asked what happened, the cook laughed and said, "Well, those biscuits squatted to rise, but they just got cooked in the squat."

I see people who have gotten "cooked in the squat."  They are going to do something just as soon as they gather all the necessary information.  But weeks, months and then years slip by.  Protected in the safety of gathering more information they miss new opportunities all together.  A coaching client told me he had gone to work at the local bank – just as a temporary position until he could do a little research about which career field to really pursue.  Guess what?  That was 17 years ago and he's still at the bank.  The acceptable illusion of still getting ready robbed him of 17 years of his life.

When do you have enough knowledge to start something new?  When you decide to take action!  The baby eagle learns how to fly as he is heading straight toward the rocks below, not while sitting on the edge of the nest.  The business owner learns while hiring, buying, and making mistakes more than while sitting in a classroom.  The unemployed person approaches success while knocking on doors, making phone calls, and getting repeated rejections, not while scanning the Internet and reading textbooks.

"There is no more miserable human being than the one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision."  William James

Don't get "cooked in the squat."  It will cripple you and cause you to miss the life you were intended to live!

What is a decision you have been waiting to make? Do you perhaps have enough knowledge to make a decision and move on?

 Dan Miller is today's leading authority and personality on careers and 'Work You Love^TM'. As bestselling author of 48 Days To The Work You Love, and now No More Mondays, Dan reaches over a million people every month in his newsletter, podcast, and blog with the best trends and opportunities in the workplace and small business. For more information, visithttp://www.48days.com.

 

Page Source (url): http://www.crosswalk.com/family/career/the-danger-of-too-much-preparation.html

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº