5. Listen to and Control Your Self-Talk
Guess who’s the Number 1 person you communicate with on a daily
basis? It’s you! Our minds are in a constant state of self-talk. These
internal conversations characterize how we view the world and influence
every part of our lives: relationships, achievements, attitude and,
ultimately, our degree of happiness.
If this internal dialogue is negative—focusing on faults, mistakes,
weaknesses, insecurities, or fears—it will be virtually impossible to feel
good about yourself and advance your life forward.
Furthermore, sustained negative thinking can have a detrimental effect on
your health and overall quality of life. If, on the other hand, your self-talk
is positive—concentrating on your strengths, blessings, successes, and
opportunities—your self-image will be strong and vibrant. Your obstacles
won’t seem insurmountable and, as a whole, your life will become more
enjoyable and gratifying.
The great news is that you can control what you think. You can replace
any negative thought with a more positive and productive affirmation.
You’ll soon find that the process gets easier with sustained practice.
The first step toward improving your thoughts is to become aware of your
internal conversations and really listen to your inner voice.
Are your thoughts positive or negative?
Do they lift you up or do they bring you down?
Do they inspire or do they impede?
Be aware of this internal dialogue and its content; make sure it stays
positive. When it becomes negative, take a few minutes to analyze the
underlying reasons for your pessimistic thinking.
If you catch yourself thinking negatively, you can stop your thought
process mid-stream by literally saying to yourself, “Stop!” Saying this
aloud has power; you’re bound to notice the frequency and circumstances
of these destructive internal conversations.
Every time I catch myself thinking about one of my failures, faults or
mistakes, I have a firm conversation with myself. Then using my selfcontrol,
I change the subject. I confess that I may have to repeat this selftalk
technique 20 times before I finally stop thinking about a major
mistake or failure. But, as with every challenge I have faced thus far in
my life, I have not allowed it to negatively impact my overall outlook.
LTM Challenge
Let me encourage you to start being aware of your self-talk. Determine
which conversations are helpful and which ones are harmful. Be mindful
that your internal conversations not only affect how you view yourself,
but also how you react and respond to others.
Remember, we all make mistakes. We all have setbacks. We all
experience failures. The key is to learn from every experience and use our
self-control to stop thinking about them. It is only then that we can take
positive steps to achieve our personal and professional best.
You can’t control your life
if you don’t control your thoughts.
