Emotional Eating And The Holidays: What To Do

By Rob Dobrenski, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist
Dec 05, 2011

ShrinkTalk

by Rob Dobrenski, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist

On Thanksgiving, how many of us ate more than our bodies needed?  "Most" is probably an understatement.  Many holidays have food as a central component which, unfortunately, allows us to easily eat beyond what is needed to satisfy our hunger/provide necessary nutrients.  For a lot of people, this extra consumption is simply a mindless force of habit but, for others, Emotional Eating (EE) is the major culprit. In short, this is using our feelings to dictate what, when and how much we eat, rather than what our bodies actually need. 

For those who are interested in curbing this habit as we roll into the holiday season, awareness is the first and perhaps most important tool. You need to know and understand what the emotion(s) is that is generating poor eating habits.  It's at that point you can intervene so you are making the best decisions regarding food choices.  Below are common emotional states people experience during the holidays that lead to EE, along with some possible solutions.

Boredom

This is the most commonly reported emotion that leads to EE, and for good reason.  While many people enjoy the respite from the daily grind of life, the reality is that there isn't all that much to do.  Most public arenas are closed and there are only so many films/television programs to watch, so what do many people do?  Eat.

Obvious Solution: Fill up your calendar…in advance!  Know what you'll do with your time, plan it out, be active.  Don't take a "wait and see" approach to what the holidays will offer, dictate the pace and plan.

Alternative Solution: There's an old saying in psychology that reads "don't just do something, stand there."  In other words, people often believe that boredom requires action.  While behavior can often ameliorate the feeling, it's not mandatory.  Sit with the emotion, don't block it out.  Boredom can sometimes be a cue to reflect on your life: what is working, what isn't, what needs to change, what should stay as is.  Your mind is capable of going in countless directions if you allow it to, so don't believe you simply have to mask your boredom through activity.  This is a chance to be much more mindful about your life.

Depression

Unfortunately, the holiday season is an extremely debilitating time for millions.  Dissatisfaction with life, paired with the pressure to be happy and grateful and "into the holiday spirit" can bring about or amplify depression. 

Obvious Solution: Remember that, first and foremost, food is a very poor antidepressant.  Like alcohol, the positive effects are quite brief while the aftermath of emotional eating (e.g., weight gain, feeling overstuffed, self-dislike) is of much greater duration and intensity.  Identify the people and tasks you enjoy and immerse yourself in them instead. 

Subtle Solution:  Even the most religious people recognize that the holiday season, at least regarding duration, is man-made; it is society that has created a month-long extravaganza filled with consumerism and psychological pressure.  That said, make the holidays what you want them to be, independent of what anyone tells you.  Conforming to society's standards might be expected, but it is certainly not required.  Change your mindset about what the holidays "should" be for you as an individual and the depression associated with it is often tempered.

Stressed Out

This isn't an emotion per se; it's really a compilation of many different feelings.  But it is what many of my patients report when they think about the psychological toll of holiday shopping, party planning, party attending and, of course, spending time with some relatives who aren't necessarily the easiest group to get along with. 

Obvious Solution: Cut back on the demands.  Do your shopping online instead of in the chaos that is the retail outlets.  Pick a select number of gatherings and only attend those.  In short, streamline your life during this time.

Subtle Solution: Remember that what you "should" be thinking, feeling and doing is not necessarily reality.  Make your holiday what you want it to be and your stress level will decrease.

Happy

Not all Emotional Eating is based on negative emotions.  Many cultures use food for celebration and appreciation.  This is not a bad thing, but one must recognize its limits as a healthy experience. 

Obvious Solution: When you're happy, anything should seem possible.  Using food as a sole expression of happiness is, quite frankly, psychologically lazy.  Embrace your family, friends, health, wealth, religion, whatever it is that brings you joy.  Isn't that at least part of what the holidays are about?

Subtle Solution: Eat a reasonable meal, in the same way you would any other day.  Holidays are notorious for leftovers, so after you've consumed your fair share, bring all the extra food to a soup kitchen or shelter. Rid yourself of temptation while helping others.  Contrary to popular belief, the happiest people on the planet are the most altruistic, so why not actually increase your own happiness by elevating someone else's?  That is what the holidays should truly be about.

 

 

"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -  ºoº Walt Disney ºoº